The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus, Written by Herself

21. During the Octave of All Saints, I had two or three days of exceeding anguish, the result of my remembrance of my great sins, and I was also in great dread of persecutions, which had no foundation except that great accusations were brought against me, and all my resolutions to suffer anything for God failed me: though I sought to encourage myself, and made corresponding acts, and saw that all would be a great pain for me, it was to little purpose, for the fear never left me. It was a sharp warfare. I came across a letter, in which my good father had written that St. Paul said that our God does not suffer us to be tempted beyond our power to bear. This was a very great relief to me, but was not enough; yea, rather, on the next day I was in great distress at his absence, for I had no one to go to in this trouble, for I seemed to be living in great loneliness. And it added to my grief to see that I now find no one but he who can comfort me, and he must be more than ever away, which is a very sore trouble.

22. The next night after this, reading in a book, I found another saying of St. Paul, with which I began to be comforted; and being slightly recollected, I remained thinking how I had our Lord before present within me, so that I truly saw Him to be the living God. While thinking on this He spoke to me, and I saw Him in my inmost being, as it were beside my heart, in an intellectual vision; His words were: "I am here, only I will have thee see how little thou canst do without Me." I was on the instant reassured, and my fears left me; and while at Matins that very night our Lord Himself, in an intellectual vision so clear as to seem almost imaginary, laid Himself in my arms, as He is painted in the pictures of our Lady of Anguish. The vision made me very much afraid, for it was so clear, and so close to me, that it made me think whether it was an illusion or not. He said to me, "Be not afraid of it, for the union of My Father with thy soul is incomparably closer than this." The vision has remained with me till now. What I have said of our Lord continued more than a month: now it has left me.

23. I was one night in great distress, because it was then a long time since I had heard anything of my father; and, moreover, he was not well the last time he wrote to me. However, my distress was not so great as that I felt before, for I had hopes, and distress like that I never was in since; but still my anxiety hindered my prayer. He appeared to me on the instant; it could not have been the effect of imagination, for I saw a light within me, and himself coming by the way joyous, with a face all fair. It must have been the light I saw that made his face fair, for all the saints in heaven seem so; and I considered whether it be the light and splendour proceeding from our Lord that render them thus fair. I heard this: "Tell him to begin at once without fear, for the victory is his." 24. One day, after he came, when I was at night giving thanks to our Lord for the many mercies He had given unto me, He said to me: "O my child, what canst thou ask that I have not done?"

25. Our Lord said to me one day, in the monastery of Veas, that I was to present my petition to Him, for I was His bride. He promised to grant whatever I might ask of Him, and, as a pledge, gave me a very beautiful ring, with a stone set in it like an amethyst, but of a brilliancy very unlike, which He put on my finger. I write this to my own confusion, considering the goodness of God, and my wretched life; for I have deserved hell. Ah! my daughters, pray to God for me, and be devout to St. Joseph, who can do much. This folly I write . . . folly I write. . . .

26. On the eve of St. Laurence, at Communion, I was so distracted and dissipated in mind, that I had no power over it, and began to envy those who dwell in desert places; thinking that, as they see and hear nothing, they are exempt from distractions. I heard this: "Thou art greatly deceived, My daughter; on the contrary, the temptations of Satan are more violent there. Have patience while life lasts, it cannot be helped." While dwelling on this, I became suddenly recollected, and I saw a great light within me, so that I thought I was in another world, and my spirit found itself interiorly in a forest and in a garden of delights, which made me remember those words of the Canticle: "Veniat dilectus meus in hortum suum." I saw my Eliseus there, not at all swarthy, but in strange beauty: around his head was a garland of precious stones; a multitude of damsels went before him with palms in their hands, all singing hymns of praise unto God. I did nothing but open my eyes, to see whether I could not distract myself from the vision, but that failed to divert my attention; and I thought there was music also, - the singing of birds and of angels, - which filled my soul with joy, though I did not hear any. My soul was in joy, and did not consider that there was nobody else there. I heard these words:

"He has merited to be among you, and all this rejoicing which thou beholdest will take place on the day he shall set aside for the honour of My Mother; and do thou make haste, if thou wouldst reach the place where he is." This vision lasted more than an hour and a half. In this respect - differently from my other visions - I could not turn away from it, and it filled me with delight. The effect of the vision was a great affection for Eliseus, and a more frequent thinking of him in that beauty. I have had a fear of its being a temptation, for work of the imagination it could not possibly be.

27. The day after the presentation of the Brief, as I was in the most eager expectation, which utterly disturbed me, so that I could not even pray, - for I had been told that our father was in great straits because they would not let him come away, and that there was a great tumult, - I heard these words: "O woman of little faith, be quiet; everything is going on perfectly well." It was the Feast of the Presentation of our Lady, in the year 1575. I resolved within myself, if our Lady obtained from her Son that we might see ourselves and our father free of these friars, to ask him to order the solemn celebration of that feast every year in our monasteries of the Barefooted Carmelites. When I made this resolution, I did not remember what I had heard in a former vision, that he would establish this solemnity. Now, in reading again this little paper, I think this must be the feast referred to.

Of a Revelation to the Saint at Avila, 1579, and of Certain Directions Concerning the Government of the Order. In St. Joseph of Avila, on Pentecost eve, in the hermitage of Nazareth, thinking of one of the greatest graces our Lord had given me on that day some twenty years before, more or less, my spirit was vehemently stirred and grew hot within me, and I fell into a trance. In that profound recollection I heard our Lord say what I am now going to tell: I was to say to the Barefooted Fathers, as from Him, that they must strive to observe four things; and that so long as they observed them, the Order would increase more and more; and if they neglected them, they should know that they were falling away from their first estate. The first is, the superiors of the monasteries are to be of one mind. The second, even if they have many monasteries, to have but few friars in each. The third, to converse little with people in the world, and that only for the good of their souls. The fourth, to teach more by works than by words.

This happened in the year 1579; and because it is a great truth, I have put my name to it. Teresa de Jesús.

Written from Palencia in May 1581, and Addressed to Don Alonzo Velasquez, Bishop of Osma, Who Had Been, When Canon of Toledo, One of the Saint's Confessors. Jesus.

1. Oh, that I could clearly explain to your Lordship the peace and quiet my soul has found! for it has so great a certainty of the fruition of God, that it seems to be as if already in possession, though the joy is withheld. I am as one to whom another has granted by deed a large revenue, into the enjoyment and use of which he is to come at a certain time, but until then has nothing but the right already given him to the revenue. In gratitude for this, my soul would abstain from the joy of it, because it has not deserved it; it wishes only to serve Him, even if in great suffering, and at times it thinks it would be very little if, till the end of the world, it had to serve Him who has given it this right; for, in truth, it is in some measure no longer subject, as before, to the miseries of this world; though it suffers more, it seems as if only the habit were struck, for my soul is, as it were, in a fortress with authority, and accordingly does not lose its peace. Still, this confidence does not remove from it its great fear of offending God, nor make it less careful to put away every hindrance to His service, yea, rather, it is more careful than before. But it is so forgetful of its own interests as to seem, in some measure, to have lost itself, so forgetful of self is it in this. Everything is directed to the honour of God, to the doing of His will more and more, and the advancement of His glory.

2. Though this be so, yet, in all that relates to health and the care of the body, it seems to me that I am more careful than I was, that I mortify myself less in my food, and do fewer penances: it is not so with the desires I had; they seem to be greater. All this is done that I may be the better able to serve God in other things, for I offer to Him very often, as a great sacrifice, the care I take of my body, and that wearies me much, and I try it sometimes in acts of mortification; but, after all, this cannot be done without losing health, and I must not neglect what my superiors command. Herein, and in the wish for health, much self-love also must insinuate itself; but, as it seems to me, I feel that it would give me more pleasure, and it gave me more pleasure when I was strong, to do penance, for, at least, I seemed to be doing something, and was giving a good example, and I was free from the vexation which arises out of the fact that I am not serving God at all. Your Lordship will see what it will be best to do in the matter.

3. The imaginary visions have ceased, but the intellectual vision of the Three Persons and of the Sacred Humanity seems ever present, and that, I believe, is a vision of a much higher kind; and I understand now, so I think, that the visions I had came from God, because they prepared my soul for its present state; they were given only because I was so wretched and so weak: God led me by the way which He saw was necessary; but they are, in my opinion, of great worth when they come from God. 4. The interior locutions have not left me, for, whenever it is necessary, our Lord gives me certain directions; and now, in Palencia, were it not for these, there would have been committed a great blunder, though not a sin.

5. The acts and desires do not seem to be so vigorous as they used to be, for, though they are great, I have one much greater to see the will of God accomplished and His glory increased; for as the soul is well aware that His Majesty knoweth what is expedient herein, and is so far removed from all self-seeking, these acts and desires quickly end, and, as it seems to me, have no strength. Hence the fear I have at times though without disquietude and pain as formerly, that my soul is dulled, and that I am doing nothing, because I can do no penance; acts of desire for suffering, for martyrdom, and of the vision of God, have no strength in them, and, most frequently, I cannot make them. I seem to live only for eating and drinking, and avoiding pain in everything; and yet this gives me none, except that sometimes, as I said before, I am afraid that this is a delusion; but I cannot believe it, because so far as I can see, I am not under the sway of any strong attachment to any created thing, not even to all the bliss of heaven, but only to the love of God; and this does not grow less, - on the contrary, I believe it is growing, together with the longing that all men may serve Him.

6. But, for all this, one thing amazes me: I have not the feelings I had formerly, so strong and so interior, which tormented me when I saw souls go to their ruin, and when I used to think I had offended God. I cannot have these feelings now, though I believe my desire that God be not sinned against is not less than it was. 7. Your Lordship must consider that in all this, in my present as well as in my previous state, I can do no more, and that it is not in my power to serve Him better: I might do so, if I were not so wicked. I may say, also, that if I were now to make great efforts to wish to die, I could not, nor can I make the acts I used to make, nor feel the pains I felt for having offended God, nor the great fears I had for so many years when {p. 479}

I thought I was under a delusion: and accordingly, I have no need of learned men, or of speaking to anybody at all, only to satisfy myself that I am going the right road now, and whether I can do anything. I have consulted certain persons on this point, with whom I had taken counsel on the others, with Fra Dominic [i.e., Bañes], the Master Medina, and certain members of the Society. I will be satisfied with the answer which you, my Lord, may give me, because of the great trust I have in your Lordship. Consider it carefully, for the love of God! Neither do I cease to learn that certain souls of people connected with me when they died are in heaven: of others I learn nothing. Oh, in what solitude I find myself when I consider that the comparison of which I spoke to you, concerning the return from Egypt, does not apply to the child at my mother's breast.

8. I am at peace within; and my likings and dislikings have so little power to take from me the Presence of the Three Persons, of which, while it continues, it is so impossible to doubt, that I seem clearly to know by experience what is recorded by St. John, that God will make His dwelling in the soul: and not only by grace, but because He will have the soul feel that presence, and it brings with it so many blessings, particularly this, that there is no need to run after reflections to learn that God is there. This is almost always the state I am in, except when my great infirmities oppress me. Sometimes, God will have me suffer without any inward comfort; but my will never swerves - not even in its first movements - from the will of God. This resignation to His will is so efficacious, that I desire neither life nor death, except for some moments, when I long to see God; and then the Presence of the Three Persons becomes so distinct as to relieve the pain of the absence, and I wish to live - if such be His good pleasure - to serve Him still longer. And if I

might help, by my prayers, to make but one soul love Him more, and praise Him, and that only for a short time, I think that of more importance than to dwell in glory. The unworthy servant and daughter of your Lordship, Teresa de Jesús. Index. Abecedario, Tercer,iv. 8. Agony in raptures,xx. 15. Ahumada, de, Antonio,iv. 1. Ahumada, de, Doña Beatriz, mother of St. Teresa, death of,i. 7; seen in heaven by the Saint,xxxviii. 1. Ahumada, de, Juana, sister of the Saint,xxxiii. 13. Alcala, monastery founded in,xxxvi. 29, note. Alcantara. SeeSt. Peter of Alcantara. Almsgiving of the Saint,i. 6,Rel. ii. 3. Alvarez, F. Baltasar,xxiv. 6,xxv. 18; mortifies the Saint,xxvi. 4; humility of,xxviii. 20; promise of, to protect the Saint,xxviii. 21; always consoled the Saint,xxix. 5; hesitates about the new foundation,xxxii. 16; commands the Saint to abandon it,xxxiii. 4; orders her to proceed,xxxiii. 13. Alvarez, F. Rodrigo,Rel. viii. Amendment of life, the work of prayer,viii. 6-12. Amusements,vii. 1,Rel. i. 14. Angels and evil spirits, vision of,xxxi. 11. Angel, the Saint's vision of the,xxix. 16-18. Answers to the Saint's prayers,xxxix. 1-7. Antony, St., of Padua,xxii. 10. Aranda, de, Don Gonzalo,xxxvi. 18.

Aridity, how it comes on in the second state of prayer,xv. 15. Art, the, of serving God,xii. 2. Ascent of the Mount,xxiii. 13. Assumption, the, vision of,xxxix. 37. Attachments, evil effects of worldly,xi. 5;xxiii. 5. Augustin, St., Confessions of,ix. 8; effect of reading them on the Saint,ix. 9; saying of,xiii. 4. Avila, birthplace of St. Teresa, troubled by the new foundation:xxxvi. 14. Avila, Bl., Juan of,Rel. vii. 9. Báñes, Fr. Dom.,xxxvi. 15; transmits the Saint's writings to the Inquisition,Rel. vii. 16. Barrientos. SeeMartin. Barron, Fra Vicente, confessor of the Saint's father,vii. 26; hears the confession of the Saint,vii. 27,xix. 19. Beauty of our Lord,xxviii. 2,xxix. 2,xxxvii. 5; unimaginable,xxviii. 7. Beginners, must toil,xi. 13; and persevere,xi. 15-17; not to be afraid of the cross,xi. 25; must be content,xii. 2; certain temptations of,vii. 16,xiii. 9; must begin humbly,xv. 19. Bernard, St.,xxii. 10. Betrothal spiritual, of the Saint,Rel. ix. 8,25. Bird, the soul likened to a,xviii. 13,xix. 22. Bishopric, a, the Saint consulted about the acceptance of,xl. 21. Blessed, the, joys of,x. 3. Blindness healed through the prayer of the Saint,xxxix. 1.

Body, the, shares the joy of the soul in certain states of prayer,xvii. 14,xviii. 15; state of, in raptures,xx. 2,4,23; our Lord seen by the Saint always in His glorified,xxix. 4. Book, a living,xxvi. 6. Books insufficient without a director,xxii. 3. Borja, de, St. Francis. SeeFrancis. Brief, the, sanctioning the observances of St. Joseph's,xxxiv. 2,xxxvi. 1,xxxix. 20. Brizeño, Doña Maria,ii. 12; influences the Saint,iii. 1. Bulls, the Sabbatine,xxxviii. 40. Cardona, de, Doña Catalina,Rel. iii. 12. Carmel, the Order of, vision concerning,Rel. iii. 14; advice to,Rel. x. Caterpillar of self-respect,xxxi. 24. Catherine, St., of Siena,xxii. 10. Censoriousness of the world,xxxi. 19. Cepeda, de, Alfonso Sanchez, father of the Saint, fond of spiritual books,i. 1; gives his daughter Maria in marriage,ii. 4, note,8; places the Saint at school in a monastery,ii. 8; would not consent to her becoming a nun,iii. 9; takes her to Bezadas to be cured,v. 5, 6; brings her to his house in Avila,v. 15; hinders her from making her confession in an illness,v. 17; persuaded by the Saint to practise mental prayer,vii. 16; makes progress therein,vii. 20; holy death of,vii. 22-25; seen in heaven by the Saint,xxxviii. 1.

Cepeda, de, Don Lorenzo, finds money for the new monastery of St. Joseph,xxxiii. 13. Cepeda, de, Maria, sister of the Saint,ii. 4; sudden death of,xxxiv. 24; seen in heaven by the Saint,xxxiv. 25. Cerda, de la, Doña Luisa,xxxiv. 1; attracted by the Saint,xxxiv. 4; visited by St. Peter of Alcantara,xxxv. 6; tries to amuse the Saint by showing her diamonds,xxxviii. 5; the Saint's watchfulness over herself in the house of,xxxix. 11. Cheerfulness, importance of,xii. 1. Cherubim,xxix. 16. Choice of a director,xiii. 28, 29. Church, the, ceremonies of,xxxi. 4; the Saint's reverence for,xxxiii. 6. Clare, St., encourages the Saint,xxxiii. 15. Comforts, worldly, the Saint's fear of,xxxiv. 4. Communion, effects of the Saint's,xvi. 3-10,xviii. 10-18,xxx. 16,xxxviii. 24,Rel. iv. 5,Rel. ix. 13; the Saint's longing for,xxxix. 31; graces of,Rel. ix. 20. Complaint, loving, of the Saint,xxxvii. 13. Confession, frequent, of the Saint,v. 17; matter of,Rel. v. 11.

Confessors, the Saint's difficulty in finding,iv. 8,13; harm done by ill-instructed,v. 6,20,vi. 6; one of them misleads the Saint,viii. 15; unskilful,xx. 28; wrong counsel of,xxvi. 5; of the Saint harsh with her,xxx. 15; obedience of the Saint to her,xxiii. 19,xxxiii. 4, 5,Rel, i. 9; the Saint rebuked for her affection to her,xxxvii. 6; names of the Saint's,Rel. vii. 5,11, 12, 13. Consecration, power of the words of,xxxviii. 30. Consolations,xi. 21; not to be sought for,xxii. 15. Contemplation,xxii. 1; why granted to imperfect souls,xxii. 22, 23. Contempt, Satan shuns,xxxi. 10; the Saint directed to treat her visions with,xxix. 6. Contradiction of good people,xxviii. 24,xxx. 6. Conversation, worldly,vii. 10; danger of,ii. 5,vii. 10; delight of our Lord in spiritual,xxxiv. 20. Conversion of a wicked priest,v. 12; of a sinner,xxxix. 5. Courage of the Saint,viii. 10; necessity of,x. 8; effects of,xiii. 3; necessary in the way of perfection,xxxi. 19. Covetousness,xxxiii. 14. Cowardice, spiritual,xiii. 6. Creator, the, traces of, in things visible,ix. 6. Crosses,xi. 8; desired by souls in the prayer of imperfect union,xvi. 9. Cross, the, way of,xi. 8,xv. 17,21; necessity of carrying,xxvii. 14. Daza, Gaspar,xxiii. 6; thought the Saint was deluded by an evil spirit,xxiii. 16; approved of the new foundation,xxxii. 21.

Delusion, a, into which the Saint fell,xxii. 3; the Saint always prayed to be delivered from,xxix. 6. Delusions incidental to locutions,xxv. 3,11. Desires, good,xiii. 8,xxi. 9,Rel. xi. 5. Desolation, spiritual, of the Saint,xxx. 10. Detachment, blessing of,xi. 2,xxxiv. 20; necessity of, for prayer,xi. 16,xv. 17; of the perfect,xv. 18; an effect of raptures,xviii. 8,xx. 10; takes away the fear of death,xxxviii. 7; the Saint's, from kindred,xxxi. 22,Rel. ii. 5,Rel. ix. 11; from directors,Rel. iv. 3. Detraction, avoided by the Saint,vi. 4,vii. 3; insensibility to,Rel. ii. 4. Detractors, the Saint prays for her,xix. 11. Devotion, sweetness in, never asked for by the Saint,ix. 10; but once,ix. 11; those who seek it censured,xi. 21; the Saint's, increased by difficulties,xxviii. 10. Die, either to, or suffer,xl. 27. Direction, unskilful,viii. 15, 16; importance of,xiii. 4; methods of wrong,xiii. 25; not to be the same for all,xxxix. 16. Directors ought to be experienced,xiii. 21; and prudent,xiii. 24; and learned,xiii. 26; choice of,xiii. 28; charity of,xiii. 29; should be secret,xxiii. 14; and humble,xxxiv. 15; should be trusted,xxxix. 35; necessary,xl. 12; the Saint preferred those who distrusted her,Rel. vii. 18. Discouragements,xi. 15; must be resisted,xix. 6; certain causes of,xxxi. 21. Discretion,xi. 23,xiii. 2; excessive,xiii. 8.

Distraction of the understanding in the prayer of quiet,xv. 10,xxx. 19; in monasteries not caused by poverty,xxxv. 3. Distrust of self,viii. 18,ix. 3; necessity of,xix. 20. "Domine, da mihi aquam,"xxx. 24. Dominicans, the, help St. Teresa,v. 8,Rel. vii. 11-14. Dominion, true,xl. 21. Dove, vision of a,xxxviii. 13, 14. Ecija, vow of the Saint in the hermitage of,Rel. vi. 3. Ecstasy,xx. 1; how wrought,xx. 2; fear during,xx. 9; first, of the Saint,xxiv. 7. Egypt, flesh-pots of,xv. 5. Elevation of the spirit not to be attempted in union,xviii. 8. Eliseus. SeeJerome, Fra, of the Mother of God. Enclosure, observance of, how important,vii. 5. Endowments not accepted by the Saint for her monasteries,xxxv. 4, 5; offered for St. Joseph,xxxvi. 19; and forbidden by a Brief,xxxix. 20. Envy, a holy,xxxix. 19. Exorcisms, the Saint threatened with, Boll. 211,xxix. 4. Experience, more valuable than books,xiv. 10; a safeguard against delusion,xiv. 11. Faith, the, Satan was never able to make the Saint doubt,xix. 13; blessed effects of,xxv. 16. Falls turn to our good,xix. 8. Fear,xxv. 27; of God,xxvi. 1. Founders of religious Orders,xxxii. 17. Francis, St.,xxii. 10. Francis, St., de Borja visits the Saint,xxiv. 4; consulted by her,Rel. vii. 5.

Friendship, advantages of spiritual,vii. 33-37,xxx. 6; with God,xv. 8; the Saint's detachment from,xxiv. 8. Friendship, worldly, dangers of,ii. 4,v. 9; deceitfulness of,xxi. 1. Garden, the prayer in the,ix. 5; the soul likened to a,xi. 10,xiv. 13. Gifts of God, the, importance of discerning,x. 4; demand our gratitude,x. 7; supply strength,x. 8; a grace to understand,xvii. 7; the Saint erroneously advised to conceal,xxvi. 5; given according to His will,xxxiv. 14,xxxix. 12; the Saint's joy when others received,xxxiv. 21. God, sense of the presence of,x. 1; helps those who love Him,xi. 19; never fails those who trust Him,xiii. 15; munificence of,xviii. 5; the Saint has a vision of,xl. 13, 14; pain of absence from,Rel. iv. 6. Grace, prayer the door of,viii. 13; comes after trials,xi. 18; the Saint's distress because she could not know whether she was in a state of,xxxiv. 12; vision of a soul in,Rel. iii. 13. Guzman, de, y Barrientos, Don Martin, sudden death of,xxxiv. 24. Hardships of the religious life,xiii. 30. Health, anxiety about,v. 3-8; importance of, in the spiritual life,xi. 23; to be made little of,xiii. 9. Heaven, Queen of,xix. 9; revealed in raptures,xxxiii. 16,xxxviii. 8.

Hell, a vision of,xxx. 14,xxxii. 1; effects of, on the Saint,xxxii. 7-10. Heretics, self-condemned,vii. 8; evil state of,xxxii. 9; resemble a broken mirror,xl. 9. Hilarion, St., the Saint commends herself to,xxvii. 2. Honour, point of,xxi. 12. Hugo, Fra, Cardinal of Santa Sabina,xxxvi. 27. Humanity, the Sacred,xii. 3,xxii. 1; mistake of the Saint concerning,xxii. 3; source of all grace,xxii. 9; never to be lost sight of in prayer,xxii. 11; the Saint directed to fix her thoughts on,xxiii. 18; the Saint renews her love of,xxiv. 2; vision of,xxviii. 4,xxxviii. 22. Humility, advantages of,vii. 37,xii. 9; false kinds of,x. 4,xiii. 4; the foundation of the Christian life,xii. 5; worth more than all the science in the world,xv. 13; grows most in the state of perfect union,xix. 2; dangers of false,xix. 15-23; acquired in raptures,xx. 38; foundation of prayer must be laid in,xxii. 16; a false, the most crafty device of Satan,xxx. 12; asking for consolations not consistent with,xxxix. 21-23. Hypocrisy, the Saint not tempted to,vii. 2,Rel. i. 18.

Ibañez, Fra Pedro,x. 10, note,xvi. 10;note 6; consulted by the Saint about the new foundation,xxxii. 19; encourages the Saint to persevere,xxxii. 20; confident of success,xxxiii. 5; departs from Avila,xxxiii. 7; advises the Saint to accept an endowment for the new foundation,xxxv. 5; changes his opinion,xxxv. 7; and helps the Saint,xxxvi. 23; seen by the Saint in a vision,xxxviii. 15, 16. Illness of St. Teresa,iv. 6,v. 4; extreme severity of,v. 14. Image of our Lord not to be mocked,xxix. 7. Images, devotion of the Saint to,vii. 3; effects of, on her,ix. 1-3; great blessing of,ix. 7. Imagination of St. Teresa not active,ix. 6; wearisome to her,xvii. 9. Imitation of the Saints,xiii. 5-9. Imperfections, rooting up of,xiv. 14. Impetuosities in prayer,xxix. 11-13,Rel. i. 3,Rel. viii. 13. Impetuosities of divine love,xxix. 10, 11,13,xxxiii. 9; physical effects of,xxix. 15. Incarnation, the monastery of the, the Saint enters,iv. 1; the nuns of, complain of the Saint,xix. 12; the Saint tempted to leave,xxxi. 16; the rule not strictly observed in,xxxii. 12; the Saint's affection for,xxxii. 13,xxxiii. 3; nuns of, object to the new foundation,xxxiii. 2; election of prioress,xxxv. 8; the Saint returns to, from Toledo,xxxv. 10,xxxvi. 1; troubled because of the new foundation,xxxvi. 11.

Indisposition, bodily, evil effects of, on the spiritual life,xi. 23. Ingratitude, delusion arising from the dread of,xxiv. 6; the Saint bewails her,xiv. 16. Inquisition, the, threats of denouncing the Saint to,xxxiii. 6. Inspirations, good, not to be resisted,iv. 3. Intentions, good, no excuse for an evil act,v. 12. Jerome, Fra, of the Mother of God,Rel. vi. 1-3,Rel. ix. 7,21,23,26. Jerome, St.,xi. 17,xxxviii. 2; the Saint reads the letters of,iii. 8. Jesus, the Society of, helps the Saint,v. 8; sought by her,xxiii. 3,19; visions concerning,xxxviii. 17,39. Job, patience of,v. 16; trial of,xxx. 12. John, St., of the Cross,Rel. iii. 19. Joseph, St., great devotion of the Saint to,vi. 9,xxx. 8,xxxvi. 5; the teacher of prayer,vi. 12; encourages the Saint,xxxiii. 14; vision of,xxxiii. 16. Joseph, St., the monastery of, purchase of the site of,xxxii. 22; not to be subject to the Order,xxxiii. 18; paradise of God's delight,xxxv. 13; foundation of,xxxvi. 4; destruction of, threatened by the council of the city,xxxvi. 14; obtains the good will of the people,xxxvi. 25; goodness of the nuns of,xxxix. 14. Joys, of prayer,x. 3; of visions,xxvii. 13; of the saved,xxvii. 15. Judas, temptation of,xix. 16. Judgment, day of,xl. 16. Kindred, detachment from,xxxi. 22,Rel. ix. 11.

Lutherans,xxxii. 9,Rel. ii. 14; destroyers of images,Rel. v. 5. Madness, spiritual,xvi. 1-8,xxvii. 15. Magdalene, the,ix. 2,xxi. 9; her example to be followed,xxii. 19. Mancio, F.,Rel. ii. 18. Mantles of the religious folded by the Saint,xxxi. 27. Maria of Jesus,xxxv. 1; founds a house in Alcala de Henares,xxxvi. 29. Martin, Don, Guzman y Barrientos, marries a sister of the Saint,ii. 4, note,iii. 4; sudden death of,xxxiv. 24. Martyrdom desired by the Saint,i. 4. Martyrs, the, sufferings of,xvi. 6. Mary and Martha,xvii. 6,xxii. 13. Meditation, advantage of,iv. 11; fruits of,xi. 20; example of a,xiii. 19; the perfect may have to return to,xv. 20. Memory, the, in the prayer of imperfect union,xvii. 5,9; troublesome, but not hurtful,xvii. 11. Mendoza, de, Don Alvaro, Bishop of Avila,xxxiii. 19; protects the new monastery of St. Joseph,xxxvi. 18. Men, great, difficult of access,xxxvii. 7. Mercies of God, the remembrance of,xv. 23. Michael, St., the Saint commends herself to,xxvii. 2. Misdirection, a, corrected by the Saint,xiii. 22. Mitigation, the Bull of,xxxii. 12; disused in the new monastery,xxxvi. 27, 28. Monasteries, courts in politeness,xxxvii. 17. Munificence of God,xviii. 5,xxii. 26. Neatness, excessive,ii. 2,Rel. i. 23. Novices in St. Joseph's,xxxix. 15. Novitiate of the Saint,v. 1.

Nun, illness of a, in the monastery of the Incarnation,v. 3; visions concerning a,xxxviii. 37, 38. Obedience, the Saint writes under,xviii. 10; strict observance of, in the Society of Jesus,xxxiii. 9; of the Saint to her confessors,xxiii. 19,Rel. i. 9,29,Rel. vii. 14. Objects, natural, moved the Saint to devotion,ix. 6. Ocampo, de, Mary,xxxii. 13, note. Office, the divine, the Saint's imperfect knowledge of,xxxi. 26. Order, vision concerning a certain,xl. 18, 19. Osorno, Countess of,Rel. iii. 16. Ovalle, de, Don Juan,xxxv. 14, note; providential illness of,xxxvi. 2. Padranos, de, Juan,xxiii. 18; directs the Saint,xxiv. 1; removed from Avila,xxiv. 5. Pain of raptures,xx. 11; sweetness of,xx. 19. Paradise of His delight,xxxv. 13. "Passer solitarius,"xx. 13. Passion, the, devotion of the Saint to,ix. 5; meditation on,xiii. 19, 20,xxii. 8. Patience of a nun,v. 3; of the Saint,v. 16; of God,viii. 8. Penance, necessity of,xxvii. 14; of the Saint,xxiv. 2,Rel. i. 5,Rel. ii. 11,Rel. xi. 2. Perfection,xxi. 10; true safety lies in,xxxv. 15; not always attained to because of many years spent in prayer,xxxix. 21. Persecution, of the Saint,xix. 12,xxxvi. 12; blessings of,xxxiii. 5. Perseverance in prayer,viii. 5; fruits of,xi. 6; reward of, certain,xi. 17; the Saint prays for,xiv. 17; and recommends,xix. 7.

Peter, St., of Alcantara,xxvii. 4; penitential life of,xxvii. 17-21,xxx. 2; power of, with God,xxvii. 22; understands and comforts the Saint,xxx. 5,7,Rel. vii. 6; quiets a scruple of the Saint,xxx. 20; approves of the new foundation,xxxii. 16; and of the observance of poverty in it,xxxv. 6; in Avila when the Saint came back from Toledo,xxxvi. 1; death of,xxxvi. 1, note; appears to the Saint,xxxvi. 20, 21; said that women make greater progress than men,xl. 12. Phoenix, the,xxxix. 33. Pilgrims,xxxviii. 8. Pillar, the, meditations on Christ at,xiii. 19,31. Politeness, monasteries courts in,xxxvii. 17. Poverty, effects of defective,xi. 3; of spirit,xxii. 17; the Saint's love of,xxxv. 3,Rel. i. 10,Rel. ii. 2. Prayer, mental,viii. 7; blessings of,viii. 12; joys of,x. 3; the Saint's four states of,xi. 12; fruit of mental,xi. 20; vocal,xii. 3; doctrine of, difficult,xiii. 18; importance of persevering in,xv. 5; must have its foundations in humility,xxii. 16; of the Saint continued in sleep,xxix. 9; effects of intercessory,xxxi. 9; two kinds of,xxxix. 8-10; the Saint's method of,Rel. i. 1. Preachers,xvi. 12. Presence of God, the,xviii. 20; practice of the,xii. 3; effects of, in the prayer of quiet,xiv. 8; different from vision,xxvii. 6. Priest, conversion of an evil-living,v. 9,xxxi. 7; vision concerning a,xxxviii. 29.

Progress made in the way of raptures,xxi. 11. Prophecies made to the Saint,xxxiv. 23; fulfilled,Rel. ii. 6,17. Provincial, the, of the Carmelites offers to accept the new foundation,xxxii. 16; then declines it,xxxii. 18; sends the Saint to Toledo,xxxiv. 2; recalls her,xxxv. 8; reprimands the Saint,xxxvi. 12; allows the Saint to live in the new monastery,xxxvi. 23; death of,xxxviii. 34-36. Purgatory, the Saint saw certain souls who were not sent to,xxxviii. 41; and delivers others from,xxxix. 6. Queen of heaven, the, devotion to,xix. 9. Quiet, the prayer of,iv. 9,ix. 6,xiv. 1, passim; disturbed by the memory and the understanding,xiv. 5; joy of the soul in,xiv. 7; few souls pass beyond,xv. 3,7; great fruits of,xv. 6; how the soul is to order itself in,xv. 9; difference between the true and false,xv. 15. Rank, slavery of,xxxiv. 6. Rapture,xx. 1; irresistible,xx. 3,xxii. 20; effects of,xx. 9,30; pain of,xx. 11; loneliness of the soul in,xx. 13; characteristics of,xx. 23; duration of,xx. 25; physical effects of,xx. 29,Rel. i. 26,iv. 1; made the Saint long for heaven,xxxviii. 8; good effects of,Rel. i. 8,15.

Reading, spiritual,i. 1,iv. 12, 13; persevered in by the Saint,viii. 14; long unprofitable to her,xii. 10; impossible in the prayer of perfect union,xviii. 14; a delight,Rel. i. 7. Recollection, prayer of,xiv. 2,Rel. viii. 3. Recreation,xiii. 1. Reflections, making, when dangerous in prayer,xv. 11. Reform, the Carmelite, beginning of,xxxii. 13. Religious must despise the world,xxvii. 16. Resignation of the Saint,xxi. 6,Rel. i. 20. Revelations, the Saint never spoke of her, when she consulted her confessors,xxxii. 19. Rosary, the, of the Saint,xxix. 8. Rule, the Carmelite, mitigation of,xxxii. 12; restored by the Saint,xxxvi. 27; observance of,xxxvi. 30, 31. Salasar, de, Angel. SeeProvincial. Salazar, de, Gaspar, Rector of the Society of Jesus in Avila,xxxiii. 9; understands the state of the Saint,xxxiii. 11; bids the Saint go to Toledo,xxxiv. 2; vision of the Saint concerning,xxxviii. 17. Salcedo, de, Don Francisco,xxiii. 6; gives spiritual advice to the Saint,xxiii. 11; fears delusions,xxiii. 12; helps the Saint in her new foundation,xxxii. 21,xxxvi. 21; hospitable,xxxvi. 1; gives Communion to the Saint when a priest,Rel. iii. 7. Samaria, the woman of,xxx. 24.

Satan, subtlety of,iv. 14; an artifice of,vii. 12,35; suggests a false humility,xiii. 5; and a carefulness for health,xiii. 9; afraid of learned directors who are humble,xiii. 26; efforts of, to deceive, how thwarted,xv. 16; tempted the Saint to give up prayer,xix. 8; a lie,xxv. 26; unable to counterfeit intellectual visions,xxvii. 4-8; tries to counterfeit imaginary visions,xxviii. 15; appears to the Saint,xxxi. 2; dislikes contempt,xxxi. 10; wiles of,Rel. i. 29. Scandal,xxvii. 16. Scorn, signs of, not to be made during visions,xxix. 6. Self, contempt of, necessary in the spiritual life,xxxi. 23. Self-denial, necessity of,xxxi. 25. Self-knowledge,xiii. 23. Self-love,xi. 2; strong and hurtful,xi. 4, 5. Self-respect, harm of,xxi. 12. Senses, the, suspension of, in the prayer of perfect union,xviii. 19. Sensitiveness,xi. 4. Sermons,viii. 17; without simplicity,xvi. 12. Shame, good fruits of,v. 9. Sicknesses of the Saint,xxx. 9. Sickness sent for penance,xxiv. 2. Sight restored at the prayer of the Saint,xxxix. 1. Sincerity of the Saint,Rel. i. 28. Sin, occasions of,viii. 14; pain occasioned by the sins of others,xiii. 14; original,xxx. 20; the Saint, by her prayers, hinders a great,xxxix. 3; wickedness of,xl. 15; vision of a soul in,Rel. iii. 13. Sins, the Saint consents to the divulging of her,x. 10.

Solitude, longings for,i. 6,vi. 5,Rel. i. 6. Sorcery,v. 10. Soto, de, the Inquisitor,Rel. vii. 8. Soul, our own, the first object,xiii. 13, 14; likened to a garden,xi. 10,xiv. 13; in the prayer of quiet,xv. 1; growth of,xv. 20; powers of, in the prayer of imperfect union,xvi. 1,4; beside itself,xvi. 1-5; crucifixion of, in raptures,xx. 14; detachment of the enraptured,xx. 33; strengthened in raptures,xxi. 14; effects of visions in,xxvii. 11; helplessness of, without God,xxxvii. 11; vision of a lost soul,xxxviii. 31; the Saint's vision of her own,xl. 8; and of, in a state of grace,Rel. iii. 13,Rel. v. 6. Spirit, liberty of,xi. 25; poverty of,xxii. 17; flight of the,xviii. 8,Rel. viii. 11. Spirits, evil, put to flight,xxv. 25; by holy water,xxxi. 4. Spirituality influenced by bodily health,xi. 24. Suarez, Juana,iii. 2; accompanies the Saint to Bezadas,iv. 6. Sufferings, physical, of the Saint,iv. 7,v. 4,14,vi. 1; of raptures,xx. 16; the Saint longs for,xl. 27. Sweetness, spiritual, never sought by the Saint but once,ix. 11; seekers of, censured,xi. 21; of the pain of raptures,xx. 19; the Saint unable to resist it at times,xxiv. 1.

Tears, gift of,iv. 8,xxix. 11; of the Saint before a picture of the Passion,ix. 1; in the prayer of quiet,xiv. 5; in the prayer of perfect union,xix. 1, 2; the Saint prays God to accept her,xix. 10. Temptation, power of,xxx. 13. Tenderness of soul,x. 2.

Teresa, St., desires martyrdom,i. 4; placed in a monastery,ii. 8; unwilling to become a nun,ii. 10; becomes more fervent,iii. 2; is resolved to follow her vocation,iii. 6; first fervours of,iv. 2; failure of health,iv. 6; God sends her an illness,v. 4; suffers grievously,vi. 1; afraid of prayer,vi. 5; leads her father to prayer,vii. 16; present at her father's death,vii. 22; perseveres in prayer,viii. 2; found it hard to pray,viii. 10; delights in sermons,viii. 17; devout to the Magdalene,ix. 2; never doubted of God's mercy,ix. 8; depreciates herself,x. 9; willing to have her sins divulged,x. 10; always sought for light,x. 13; complains of her memory,xi. 9; unable to explain the state of her soul,xii. 10; supernaturally enlightened,xii. 11; reads books on prayer to no purpose,xiv. 10; writes with many hindrances,xiv. 12,xl. 32; bewails her ingratitude,xiv. 16; scarcely understood a word of Latin,xv. 12; understands her state in the prayer of imperfect union,xvi. 3; and describes it,xvi. 6; bewails her unworthiness,xviii. 6; writes under obedience,xviii. 10; confesses ignorance,xviii. 20; abandons her prayers for a time,xix. 8; evil spoken of,xix. 12; misled by false humility,xix. 23; prays to be delivered from raptures,xx. 5, 6; never cared for money,xx. 34; gives up her whole

being to God,xxi. 7; unable to learn from books,xxii. 3; afraid of delusions,xxiii. 3; is directed by a layman,xxiii. 10; severe to herself,xxiv. 2; her first ecstasy,xxiv. 7; had no visions before the prayer of union,xxv. 14; told by her confessor that she was deluded by Satan,xxv. 18; prays to be led by a different spiritual way,xxv. 20,xxvii. 3,Rel. vii. 7; not afraid of Satan,xxv. 27; spoken against,xxvi. 3; troubles of, because of visions,xxvii. 4,xxviii. 6; her defence when told that her visions were false,xxviii. 18, 19; afraid nobody would hear her confession,xxviii. 20; harshly judged by her directors,xxviii. 23; would not exchange her visions for all the pleasures of the world,xxix. 5; vehemence of her love,xxix. 10; her supernatural wound,xxix. 17; manifests her spiritual state to St. Peter of Alcantara,xxx. 4; bodily trials of,xxx. 17; finds no relief in exterior occupations,xxx. 18; buffeted by Satan,xxxi. 3; converts a great sinner,xxxi. 7; troubled because well thought of,xxxi. 13-17; her singing of the Office,xxxi. 26; commanded to labour for the reform of her Order,xxxii. 14; commanded to abandon her purpose,xxxiii. 1; her vision in the Dominican church, Avila,xxxiii. 16; goes to Toledo,xxxiv. 3; the nuns wish to have her as their

Prioress,xxxv. 8; restores a child to life,xxxv. 14, note; begins the Reform,xxxvi. 4; her grievous trial,xxxvi. 6, 7; her health improved,xxxvi. 9; would suffer all things for one additional degree of glory,xxxvii. 3; her affection for her confessors,xxxvii. 6; supernaturally helped when writing,xxxviii. 28; obtains sight for a blind person,xxxix. 1; and the cure of one of her kindred,xxxix. 2; her spiritual state became known without her consent,xl. 28; submits all her writings to the Roman Church,Rel. vii. 16.

Theology, mystical,x. 1,xi. 8,xii. 8; the Saint says she does not know the terms of,xviii. 4. Thomas, St., assisted at the deathbed of Fra P. Ibañez,xxxviii. 15. Throne, vision of a,xxxix. 31, 32. Trance, a,xviii. 17,xx. 1; outward effects of,xl. 11; gradual,Rel. viii. 10. Transport,Rel. viii. 10. Trials followed by graces,xi. 18; promised to the Saint,xxxv. 9; shown her in a vision,xxxix. 25. Trinity, the, mystery of, revealed to the Saint,xxxix. 36; visions of,Rel. iii. 6,Rel. v. 6-8,Rel. viii. 20,Rel. ix. 12. Truth, divine,xl. 3-7. Ulloa, de, Doña Guiomar,xxiv. 5; takes the Saint to her house,xxx. 3; helps the Saint to accomplish the reform,xxxii. 13; is refused absolution,xxxii. 18. Understanding, the, use of in prayer,xiii. 17; disorderly,xv. 10; powerless in the state of imperfect union,xvi. 4; and of the perfect union,xviii. 19; the Saint speaks humbly of her,xxviii. 10. Union, imperfect, prayer of,xvi. 1; a mystical death,ib.; the soul resigned therein,xvii. 1; how it differs from the prayer of quiet,xvii. 5, 6; another degree of,xvii. 7; the labour of the soul lessens in the later states of,xviii. 1. Union, perfect, prayer of,xviii. 1; the senses wholly absorbed in,xviii. 3,14; duration of,xviii. 16; fruits of,xix. 4.

Union, prayer of,iv. 9; followed by visions in the Saint,xxv. 14. Union, what it is,Rel. v. 2; of the faculties of the soul,Rel. viii. 7. Vainglory,vii. 2,34,x. 5,Rel. i. 18,Rel. ii. 15,Rel. vii. 23. Vanity of possessions,xx. 35; the Saint's watchfulness over herself herein,xxxix. 11. Virtue, growth of, in the prayer of quiet,xiv. 6; and in that of imperfect union,xvii. 4. Visions, our Lord seen in,vii. 11,xxv. 14,xxvii. 3,xxviii. 2; intellectual,xxvii. 4; different from the sense of the presence of God,xxvii. 6; joy of,xxvii. 13; imaginary,xxviii. 5; effects of, in the soul,xxviii. 13; Satan tried to simulate,xxviii. 15; effects of, in the Saint,xxviii. 19; cessation of the Saint's imaginary,xxix. 2; of the Sacred Humanity, effects of,xxxviii. 23. Water, holy, puts evil spirits to flight,xxxi. 4, 5,9, 10. Water, the first,xi. 13; the second,xiv. 1; the third,xvi. 1; the fourth,xviii. 1. Will, the state of, in the prayer of quiet,xiv. 4,xv. 2,10; in the prayer of imperfect union,xviii. 16. Women, great care necessary in the direction of,xxiii. 14, 15; make greater progress than men,xl. 12. World, the, contempt of,x. 7,xxvii. 16; customs of, wearisome,xxxvii. 15, 16; hard on good people,xxxi. 19; vanity of,Rel. i. 21.